Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
