Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
