I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
