I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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