Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize