his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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