This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
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i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
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Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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