I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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