my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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