Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
