i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of my boobs compel you
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize