She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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