I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
