I just saw a hot homeless man
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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