I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
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Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
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You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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