is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
