In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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