So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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