Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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