your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dick very happy bro
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
