And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
