My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
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For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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