8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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