Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
