I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
