Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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