erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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