He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
