forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
