Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
