he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
