We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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