Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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