Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
