smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
