I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
