You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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