She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
