with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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