I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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