I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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