matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
