you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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