how can u be prego again
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Found the puke drawer
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize