She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Randomize
