I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
