Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize