U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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