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my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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