i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I can't turn off my feet"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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