Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
