hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
