whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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