I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
