woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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