My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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