yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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