That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
