Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
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Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
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That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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