Christians are straight up FREAKS
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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