My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
FUCK WHALES
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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