May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
