seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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