I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
