Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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