you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
