You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
