Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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