The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
